HBC Troubles: My Last to Alan

Of course, I was angry, disgusted by Alan's response. I don't suppose I expected any differently. Personally, I like him. I liked traveling with him. Well meaning or not, I've never considered him much of a people person, he seems very stoic, pragmatic, emotionless, but I figure him for a generally honest and decent fellow. And truth be told, any good Rebecca and I have done is likely eclipsed by his works. I'm not sure Tom doesn't understand what he's doing perfectly. Maybe Alan doesn't. But he's also wrong and I didn't want to equivocate in a response.

I also come away with a slimy feeling -- there is a way to approach, seemingly in love, dissenters, sidling up to them, not outright slamming them, but making them feel incrementally spiritually weaker. This is my feeling of Alan's tack in his response. Passive aggressive, always the authority.

In all these things, I have likely sinned in lacking grace, humility. I think we saw enough to make a reasonable assessment, and one that is very clear. After this last, there was no further response from Alan or Tom.

I am very glad to have left as we did and not been party to some larger church split. Better that those who leave, leave independently and quietly, at least from the perspective of the congregation. And for months, we only found out belatedly, and sometimes with surprise, who left.

We found ourselves torn, considering those who stayed. To be sure, some just didn't keep up with what was happening and were passive, some were new and didn't have context. This is normal. And we know several others who I'm quite sure stayed at least in part because they had a shot at status and benefited in this social order. I imagine they have had a lot of mental gymnastics to do to continue believing they were on the right side of this. Maybe they're fully at peace with it now.

But others I think read and saw the same things we did. I think they just really wanted to stay. We've convinced ourselves that somehow Hope is a cut above the rest, that the teaching is so much better (and to a fair degree it is), that there is no option but to stay. To justify staying, the will have to find a way to suppress everything, don't know, don't want to know. It's the only way. It's a choice. And I understand it, perhaps more after a year of being basically unchurched. I still think leaving was morally correct, but it has been uprooting and painful and it's no surprise that most people should recoil at this pain and do what they can to avoid it.

But to my mind, it's as much a deal with the devil, that they will have to swallow and justify an increasingly abusive leadership, led by an increasingly autocratic and generally unaccountable pastor, all the while continuing to tell themselves that this is spiritual growth and benefit, and nowhere else is the love of God so abundant and apparent. And to me, to us, over the last year since problems began to mount from February 2017, what has been most apparent is a lack of love and grace and kindness, such that 1 Cor 13:2 seems miserably appropriate.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

And John 13:35:

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Dear Pastor Plumley,

At least to some degree of accuracy, it is perfectly reasonable to draw conclusions of character based on actions and words, as per “By their fruits you will know them” (Matt 7:17-20) and “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt 12:34).

As for internal motivations, all I can tell you is how this looks. A reasonable outsider comes into the church, sees a fraction of what I outlined, and they're gone. They may now have reason to believe poorly about the God of HBC. They will not distinguish between harmful actions caused by good or bad motivations. Rather, "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matt 5:16.

This isn’t a dispute of limited sin between brothers. Since I believe that you and Pastor Leake have done wrong, that the wrong is public and impacts others at large, that we see you defend it publicly, that we have seen no outward indication of approachability and introspection, and there is no higher authority to which this process could be appealed, we were under no scriptural obligation to reach out discretely to you under Matt 18. Unless you can suggest that had we come to you earlier we would have seen some contrition and change on your part, then you must agree this would have been imprudent. I keep hoping to see it now. If you wish to stand on scriptural precedent, Paul vs Peter is appropriate.

I did not formally catalogue these things over months, but rather after that unfortunate appendix was sent.

As of January, we trusted you all so this didn’t start with confirmation bias. A lot of people saw similar things, whether they stayed or left. Many saw more, for longer. It isn’t simply hearsay: you published more than enough, often enough, for a reasonable person to draw impressions from the face you present.

Pastor Leake asked about having a later meeting. None came. We didn’t interact much with you, but you led our community and would have been made aware that we left. Had honest conversation been wanted, I would have expected someone to ask why we left. As shepherds you have that responsibility to understand the people you care for.

As below, you believe you are right and portray yourselves as the victims. You and Pastor Leake seem to respond defensively and aggressively to confrontation. We have looked for some overt indication over the last months that you would be receptive to serious discussion on this, and we got none. We prayed and received every reassurance that we needed to go. I consulted with a number of respected brothers and they concluded that departure was warranted and some final explanation was honorable though not required.

Until our decision was made, Rebecca and I continued to ask ourselves if there was a possibility we were misreading you, wishing to think better of you and afraid to hastily evaluate those leading God's people. If your motives are truly better, your actions appear very wrong and require repentance.

What one says and does in public is critical, and when said and done in volume, it is relevant to understanding you and where you are likely to go. What we see, we cannot follow.

Here, you are still faulting people for not coming to you personally first, rather than addressing any concern, as if process is the greatest issue. It’s not. We’ve had good leaders before. We know what they look like and have no trouble working under authority. If you want to discuss the substance of what you wrote and said, I’m willing. Since the appearance of mishandling scripture is paramount to us, if you would like to attempt an exegesis of Paul’s fundraising for the Judean churches, your insistence of 10% of gross income directly to the local church, or 1 Tim 3:15 for handling accusations against an elder, to defend your applications of it, I will consider every word. Since it was the writings we had trouble with at first, it is reasonable that this be in writing, in detail. If convinced I’m wrong I will certainly and gratefully repent. I would very much like to find a way to believe better of you.

God alone knows where your hearts are, and it’s his purview to judge them ultimately. All we can evaluate is on the outside and in what you tell us. What we saw is the image you freely presented. Please be conscious that this is what you are showing to the world.

Pastor Plumley, in other men, we would say, “of course, this was to be expected”. Until the building campaign started our strong impression of you had been of a man of very high integrity and self-discipline, leading a life that is far better than our own. What little interaction we've had I have genuinely enjoyed. What we observed this year in these particular affairs is very difficult to reconcile and process. We do not understand what has happened.

Warmly,

David

p.s. That second paragraph is not entirely hypothetical. Good friends of ours, believers, were church hunting and did see a fraction of what we did at HBC and decided not to return because of it. They only told us after we had decided to leave. It was not a good feeling.