HBC Troubles: Why did the Parkinsons leave? More of the same...

I sat down to dinner with a good brother from Hope. We had been chatting about theology. A part of me was nervous as to whether "why did you leave?" would come up. Whether, mind you, not when. And I agonized how I might approach the answer.

It continues to feel unsettling that hardly anyone, including our best friends, asked why we left. Does it not risk fellowship? Is it not a big deal? The elephant in the room?

HBC Troubles: My Last to Alan

Of course, I was angry, disgusted by Alan's response. I don't suppose I expected any differently. Personally, I like him. I liked traveling with him. Well meaning or not, I've never considered him much of a people person, he seems very stoic, pragmatic, emotionless, but I figure him for a generally honest and decent fellow. And truth be told, any good Rebecca and I have done is likely eclipsed by his works. I'm not sure Tom doesn't understand what he's doing perfectly. Maybe Alan doesn't. But he's also wrong and I didn't want to equivocate in a response.

HBC Troubles: Alan Responds

Three days later, after I sent my explanation, Alan responded. I have no idea if Tom Leak read it, or (probably) just handed it off to Alan as I believe he, right or wrong, does with a number of different administrative items.

Much of it boils down to that we are considered cowards that we didn't, in good faith, go talk to the elders.

Of course, while I had mentioned this in earlier drafts of the explanation, and Rebecca removed it so as not to incriminate others, I had already debriefed several different people who had spoken with Tom and Alan (and David was usually there).

HBC Troubles: Detailed Concerns, sent to Tom and Alan

We had left the church some months earlier, having presented a formal resignation letter to the pastor, Tom Leake, which while brief, mentioned that this was a decision of conscience pertaining to the direction of the church. Although Tom Leake asked if it would be possible to speak about this in detail later, and that his secretary would set it up, the elders at Hope did not reach out to me thereafter, and I deduced that they had no further interest in my own reasons. I wasn't surprised. A good part of me was consumed with anxiety and adrenaline at the thought of confronting my pastor. Rebecca and I debated how quietly we ought to go, in light of the injustices that we believed we had seen and we struggled with Matt 18 and whether it was right to simply bow out without some a detail and confrontation over the sin. Were we ignoring a Biblical obligation to go to our brother(s) if we believed they had sinned? Were we adding our own sins to theirs? Was this unloving?

HBC Troubles: What in the world happened to Rod?

Rod did not outright confirm Scott's account. In fact, you have to parse it very carefully just to hope that it could still accord. It was meant to cast doubt on what Scott said, and not reveal any particular reasons beyond what had been said at his last sermon.

Of course, Scott was correct. Rod wasn't going to a paid pastoral position at another church. And he wouldn't be there long either. He wasn't leaving for something.

Revelation 2:8-11 - To the Church at Smyrna

To the Church at Smyrna

Rev 2:8-11

The Preamble

Jesus is the First and Last, and who Died and and came to Life again

The Praise
Jesus knows their afflictions, poverty and that they are rich

The Problem
Jesus knows the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not; they are a synagogue of Satan

The Prescription
Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. The devil will put some of you in prison to test you; you will suffer persecution for ten days.

The Promise
Be faithful unto death and I will give you a crown of life. He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death.

Revelation 2:1-7 - To the Church at Ephesus

To the Church at Ephesus

Rev 2:1-7

The Preamble
Jesus holds the seven stars in his hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands

The Praise
Jesus knows their deeds, hard work, perseverance, intolerance of wicked men, testing of those who claim to be apostles and are not (correctly finding them false). They have persevered, endured hardships for His name, not grown weary, hate the practice of the Nicolaitans (which He hates).

The Problem
They have forsaken their first love

The Prescription
1) remember the height from which you have fallen
2) repent and do the things you did at first
3) if not, Jesus will come and remove their lampstand from its place

The Promise
To the overcomer, Jesus will give the right to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God

2.01 Reading Notes on Matthew 9

Matthew 9

New International Version (NIV)

The Calling of Matthew

9 As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.
10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”


The setting still seems about or in Nazareth.  "As Jesus went on from there" suggests that Matthew's booth was situated on some "way" connected with the town.  Possibly a roadside location on the outskirts of the town or on a thoroughfare in town; presumably in a well trafficked space.

Matthew is apparently the same tax collector as Levi (Mark 2, Luke 5).  Mark names him the son of Alphaeus

Jesus Questioned About Fasting

14 Then John’s disciples came and asked him, “How is it that we and the Pharisees fast often, but your disciples do not fast?”
15 Jesus answered, “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.
16 “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. 17 Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

Jesus Raises a Dead Girl and Heals a Sick Woman

18 While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, “My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.” 19 Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples.
20 Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. 21 She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”
22 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.
23 When Jesus entered the synagogue leader’s house and saw the noisy crowd and people playing pipes, 24 he said,“Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep.” But they laughed at him. 25 After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up. 26 News of this spread through all that region.

Jesus Heals the Blind and the Mute

27 As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!”
28 When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”
“Yes, Lord,” they replied.
29 Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”; 30 and their sight was restored. Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” 31 But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region.
32 While they were going out, a man who was demon-possessed and could not talk was brought to Jesus. 33 And when the demon was driven out, the man who had been mute spoke. The crowd was amazed and said, “Nothing like this has ever been seen in Israel.”
34 But the Pharisees said, “It is by the prince of demons that he drives out demons.”

The Workers Are Few

35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

Revelation 2 and 3: Parsing the Letters to the Churches

Parsing the Letters to the Churches

Rev 2-3

Many years ago I thought I saw a pattern in my reading through the letters to the seven churches. It's not a novel thought.

Five distinct parts of each letter were evident. For the sake of my own memory I called them:

The Preamble -- Jesus' introduction of his words by Himself ("these are the words of...")

The Praise -- What is good in the church

The Problem -- What is bad for the church (usually a problem at least partly within the body)

The Prescription -- What the church needs to do

The Promise -- What the church can expect if they do what is asked

Mostly, the order is the same in each letter.

What was particularly noteworthy was when I started to examine each segment in each letter independently, each segment message dovetails well with the other segments.

What is the relationship of the preamble with the praise? Or with the problems, prescriptions, and promises?

Jesus gives a different introduction of himself to each church, and it is very deliberate.

Simply by asking why is one section worded this way, a number of details present themselves as to what is going on with the church. We can pull out much of the information from the text itself. Outside books may lend more information but are not critical.

The phrasing "he who has ears to hear let him hear what is written to the churches" confirms the suspicion that the order of the churches is important. We see the pattern of an encyclical letter, multiple letters written to the churches, to be read by all as they traverse what is effectively an ancient postal route, from Ephesus to Laodicea.

HBC Troubles: Resignation Letter, given to Tom Leake

I spoke with Henry James, our small group leader, on Thursday, Oct 5th. He and his wife Thelma had been like surrogate parents, of a sort to us, and I didn't want him to find out about our intentions to depart from someone else. I sat with him, outlined our concerns, describing why we could not in good conscience remain at Hope Bible Church and be counted among those who, loudly or quietly, assented to the behavior of our elders. He appeared sympathetic, but unmoved. My concerns were trivial, mountains out of mole-hills. I produced the following letter the next day. Henry had asked to tell Tom Leake, but agreed to only say that Tom should talk to us. But he perhaps forgot so when the following Sunday Tom Leake sought me out, already knowing my intentions to leave. We chatted politely, perhaps kindly, he even hugged me and recommended a church nearer to us. Tom asked if I would be willing to talk about my concerns, and I said yes, and he said they would schedule something. And that was it. I handed my letter, and that was that.

(Later, after the below letter, and even after a much longer explanation was sent to Tom and Alan, I found out that to at least one respected brother who asked about where we had gone, Tom told him to his face that the Parkinsons didn't leave because of troubles at HBC, just a commute issue, and that we had even hugged when we left. I can't say whether he ever read any of my longer explanation, but hopefully from the letter below it should have been clear that we were not comfortable with where Hope was going. But perhaps I was too vague. If, as I suspect, Tom spoke about us after receiving the longer explanation then... well, I'm glad we're gone.

This was the end of a depressing affair. We were going to feel happy and liberated for a while. Then the loneliness and depression would come. But just to walk out of church free of the dark clouds that had consumed us since February and ruined all good opinion of this church, separated us from what seemed a family in Christ, and given us all manner of skepticism. We were happy the day I gave this and left.

HBC Troubles: Our first day out

Rebecca did not want to come. The girls stayed home too. I went alone, with my letter in hand. I sat through the sermon and when it was over, I got up to find Pastor Leake.

A dear sweet older sister in the faith, Scottish, blunt, came over and asked if we were discourage. I miss the bluntness. I told her yes. Not much. I did mention the building campaign. "Oh sweetie, you should have seen what our last church was like!"

HBC Troubles: Scott's Excommunication

And there it is, not wholly unexpected. They knew Scott was talking to some (an earlier email indicated that he had a very strong conscience about not reaching out to others, but responding to as many as contacted him). Commendable. The apparently divisive figure was most wary about dividing people within the church. That was not lost on us.

HBC Troubles: The Appendix that Took Us Out (Part 2)

In our minds, this was the last, best hope for Tom Leake to bring out the truth and convince us that he was in the right and Scott was categorically wrong. It may not be self-evident that Scott isn't wrong, that Tom and the remaining elders of HBC aren't victims, without more context, but just the wording and style of this writing alone should send up multiple warning signals that something isn't right.

We were really hoping for some great bombshell that would explain the sense of vindictiveness, the need for propaganda-like reassurances, the sense of damage control we got through this process. If there really was something big about Scott they were hiding for his sake, that there really was a Christian need to not address this the way normal people would expect.

HBC Troubles: The Appendix that Took Us Out (Part 1)

At last, the Elders Respond in Force! Our initial thoughts reading this email, which opened to a further Appendix detailing and addressing concerns in a point-by-point email, was that it was far better considered in writing than previous letters. If Scott Barao had truly wrong the elders, we would expect language along these lines and we were willing to extend some benefit of the doubt that we still missed critical details which would restore our confidence in Tom and Alan. Admittedly, we wanted to believe that we hadn't seen a complete 180 turn in character among people we trusted. And, although Scott presented himself consistently and credibly, we did not know him well enough to trust him.

The main body of the email itself did not give us much cause for concern and we really hoped what they would add would give us peace.

HBC Troubles: Reaching out to Rod

After the "Propaganda Letter" I was sufficiently suspicious. I reached out to Scott. Scott sent me a copy of the new letter he send to some people in his old group, addressing allegations made in the Tuesday night meeting. In that he hinted at his departure being connected to Rod's own.

Rebecca and I, disturbed by the building campaign, latched onto a number of phrases in Rod's last general letter, wondering if they indicated Rod had misgivings about how the elders had conducted it and in general about their path. Really, we wanted to believe that someone, someone, in the leadership had not been comfortable, because at least that indicated a conscience we might understand. Maybe this was connected to that? And was Scott's connected to Rod's?

HBC Troubles: Scott's "Note to My Flock"

By now the following is old news and it was sent a number of people in the community group Scott led, at least those who inquired of him following that Tuesday night meeting held in his absence. This was Scott attempting to present his side.

We withheld judgment, but he was a lot more straight with his words than what we got from the elders. He raised some good questions, some of which we hadn't considered. Still, I would have preferred things be presented more directly.It has a feeling of sowing doubts with the hope of provider answers to pry people away. I'm sensitive to that.

This statement sent off a lot of alarm bells:

Even if you knew all the truth and all the facts and saw all the emails, there is nothing you could do about it. You can probably not affect change. Two elders tried and where are they now?

Later I understood he wasn't referring to just the emails specific to this event. He had an archive of his history as an elder, and a fair amount of communication to back up a number of his claims as to how the elder board functions. Including what really happened to the first elder. It would be a month before I saw those, though.

Scott also names names, and gives a timeline of events. Right or wrong, this is how the elders should have addressed it. That they didn't was a big red flag. I couldn't help wonder if this was them hiding, while Scott, the apparent defector, wasn't.

HBC Troubles: The Propaganda Letter, or Tom's "Word of Reassurance"

Entitled "A Word of Reassurance", I was shocked to read the following. It read like corporate propaganda. 

"Pastor Barao’s ministry at HBC will be missed, and we pray he has a fruitful ministry wherever the Lord leads him."

And then we go on to detail, point-by-point, all the great things Hope is doing, to prove Hope is fine, with particular concern for donors, parents of the church school, visitors (why would they be on mail lists). Maybe... maybe... benefit of the doubt. But it reads like corporate speech and people like me are conditioned to be skeptical when we run into such language.

HBC Troubles: Church Meetings and Early Censorship

See below. A congregational meeting made sense, and this was timely. People are hurting. We want answers. However, when one sister posted a comment asking if Scott, the resigned elder, would be there, this comment was deleted. No one would have known except... the deacon who deleted it accidentally deleted the original post as well, and then posted to announce its deletion and reposting.

If it could be somehow justified, it was still very clumsy. Very, very bad optics, when sensitivity and transparency are critical.

HBC Troubles: The Unity Letter

Entitled "A Time for Unity", Tom wrote this about 5 hours after the shock of Scott Barao's resignation hit. I had remembered (perhaps incorrectly since I can't find the email) that this was the second email that day.

It was better composed.

A few things that stood out were the insistence on a unified elder board. That wasn't really my worry, or Rebecca's. People disagree, they have problems. We couldn't figure out what had been so bad the Scott resigned in such hurt, so suddenly. That was our question. So Tom's answering a question we're not asking, and I'm not sure anyone was asking at that point. Mostly, normal people want to know why? And I'm not sure, for the moment, there was any pressing need to see we had a unified elder board. There was not other crisis facing us or the church. We need brethren to be reconciled for all our sakes.

But maybe that's a normal opinion. Maybe there's a real fear among others that we're looking at the beginning of a church split? This is assurance that no split is forthcoming? Maybe it's the elders projecting their fear that they could be looking at a church split. It's not us they're reassuring but themselves? Don't know.

Of course, the proclamation of unity rings hollow. You only had 5 elders one month ago, one left a week ago, and one just now resigned, and one is a very junior fellow with limited cache... unified is a real stretch. Half of your seasoned elders left within a week of each other. You want us to believe in some nebulous principle of unity, but this seems by definition disunity. Again, this reassurance felt weird. That's all. I'm not sure about including that the entire leadership is in sync. It seems unlikely that all the leaders were contacted that quickly... maybe... but this is more of an elder matter. We're not necessarily looking to the deacons for leadership because... that's really not how the deacons function at HBC.

Other than that... we allowed that Tom Leake could have been as shocked as anyone else, so, benefit of the doubt.

HBC Troubles: The Knee-Jerk

Scott sends his letter. I was at work when I got it and I just sat, stunned. I don't know Scott. I interacted briefly with him. He seemed a caring personality and, as elders went, the most suited to anything caring focused. He led a somewhat powerful marriage seminar which impressed me. But he resigned and sent this letter, apparently not just to a few, but the entire congregation, or even the entire database.

And he sounded hurt, though no specifics were given.

Shortly thereafter, Rebecca and I remember seeing a response from Tom. Maybe just an hour later.  The Pastor had just returned, possibly from jogging, and had been taken by surprise by Scott's email. Our memory is that is sounded very angry, not so much hurt, like this had been an offense, a violation of protocol. It was harsh. I expected grace, a soft touch. This is what I expected from Tom after all these years where this is how he appeared to me. Not anger.

(Later I would believe that all this was simply consistent with someone's hand caught in the cookie jar. Good men are supposed to take the bullying. They are not supposed to end the game and send up a flare that warned others of what was happening. The Pastor truly hadn't planned for this. It was a new paradigm, and a light in which the leaders' carefully crafted image of holiness now sported holes.)

But (I thought then) he was human, he could be shocked and surprised. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. That was the right response.

I don't have that email. Neither does Rebecca. We have all the others. Strange to have a memory so strong but on this no hard documentation as with the rest. All this time I remembered details about it, a claim that he had been out, maybe jogging, when Scott sent it? and didn't see Scott's letter until a just then. Did we make this up?

But an earlier, written memory confirmed that something prior to the "Unity Letter" was sent. From my long account of this (posted later, herein):

Pastor Scott’s departure was sudden, and the hurt in his words was plain. But beyond the implication that he had been hurt, the public email revealed nearly nothing as to the cause of this hurt. Pastor Leake’s immediate reply volunteered far more than he should have in trying to convey that Scott had acted imprudently. He escalated when a wiser person would have produced a softer response. We chalked Scott’s email up to possible imprudence, and an error in sending to a wider forum than Delta, and we excused Pastor Leake’s email as that of someone caught off guard and raw with emotion.

However, Pastor Leake’s email focused very much on the principal offense of Scott as not having followed protocol.

He also revealed freely that there were disagreements ongoing and had been in the past. Maybe some knew, but for much of the congregation this was new information to cloud a sense of elder unity. The Elder Board was not truly unified, contrary to their usual insistence. He volunteered a real possibility as well that Scott may have been legitimately hurt as a result of a disagreement.

I think this was almost certainly a response written through the same HopeBook bulletin board that Scott had used to disseminate his letter, and likely as a direct reply/addendum to Scott's thread. I always got the first email in a thread, but had deliberately blocked subsequent responses to limit Inbox clutter. I believe, that the reason I had trouble locating it is because the entire thread has since been deleted.

HBC Troubles: Scott's "Difficult and Sad Goodbye"

On the heels of Rod's last Sunday, we got this at 10:00am. Another elder, gone? What on earth was going on at this church?


To my dear Delta Flock,

I write today with a broken and heavy heart and a crushed spirit to say goodbye. Effective immediately I have resigned my position as elder at HBC.

HBC Troubles: Rod Montgomery's Resignation

This was out of the blue. The following Sunday, Rod preached his last at Hope and that was it. Granted, I didn't know him and rarely resonated with anything he said. But I had a certain respect for him and saw the congregation had significant respect for him as a man of integrity with a heart for God. But it was sudden.