Sunday, October 8, 2017

HBC Troubles: Our first day out

Rebecca did not want to come. The girls stayed home too. I went alone, with my letter in hand. I sat through the sermon and when it was over, I got up to find Pastor Leake.

A dear sweet older sister in the faith, Scottish, blunt, came over and asked if we were discourage. I miss the bluntness. I told her yes. Not much. I did mention the building campaign. "Oh sweetie, you should have seen what our last church was like!"

Pastor Leake had no idea what was coming. Henry was only to tell him that I wanted to speak.

In fact, I was changing even that plan. I would give it a week, then resign. But after Henry's wife spoke to Rebecca and reduced her to tears, trivializing all of our concerns (as Henry had done gently with mine), I would resign and if they wanted to speak later, fine.

Expect Henry had told him more. Tom knew exactly why I was looking for him, and when he saw me, he came right over. He told me he understood we were going. He spoke very softly, very tenderly, even sadly. He recommended another similar church. And then at the end, gave me a hug.

Tom asked if we could talk and I said yes. His secretary would set something up with me.

I had expected a very difficult conversation, I had prayed about it... but... no. I thanked him for his kindnesses to us, handed him my letter, and left.

Oh God! I was elated! All the stress of the prior months was lifted. We were no longer part of Hope! I felt on top of the world. We were gone away from that mess, opportunity lay before us, and God had made it so easy.

Of course, as the months wore on, it would not be easy. But that day, I was happy, joyful, cheerful.

The next, I emailed Scott, titling the letter "The Parkinsons, formerly of HBC". It gave me great relief to say that. And frankly, I'm sure it bolstered Scott because up to that moment anyone who contacted him, might not have been trusted. We put our money where our mouth was, not knowing if we were alone in this (we weren't), solely on principle.

A good part of me believed very strongly that, if Scott was at least more in the right than they, not only was it a travesty what they were doing to him, but it would be a travesty if we let our brother and sister suffer alone. So we needed him to understand we were moved to costly action.

Not many were bothered to the point we were. And we had good friend who told us they never read the emails, and they didn't want to know.

And the truth is, in some ways, I think they understood the evangelical church better than we. If this happens at so many churches (and worse happened in earlier churches for them), you just suck it up, accept it as normal, and have one foot out the door if you became a target. And for many, this is the core of their social life. Leaving church is frightening. In many ways, leaving our old group felt easier than what we would feel.

It continues to defy belief that good teaching can still produce this. And the angry atheists are not wrong when they marvel and mock how Christians can volunteer to put themselves again and again into the hands of people who abuse them. We're not so different than many churches of old. Religion is an easy tool for abusers. Because, instead of a normal person leaving, someone convinces you to stay because it's God's will or your soul is at stake. How perverse. And God's name is cursed among the Gentiles.

But how much harder if you believe the this church taught rightly through scripture, and still, this happens!

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