HBC Troubles: Resignation Letter, given to Tom Leake

I spoke with Henry James, our small group leader, on Thursday, Oct 5th. He and his wife Thelma had been like surrogate parents, of a sort to us, and I didn't want him to find out about our intentions to depart from someone else. I sat with him, outlined our concerns, describing why we could not in good conscience remain at Hope Bible Church and be counted among those who, loudly or quietly, assented to the behavior of our elders. He appeared sympathetic, but unmoved. My concerns were trivial, mountains out of mole-hills. I produced the following letter the next day. Henry had asked to tell Tom Leake, but agreed to only say that Tom should talk to us. But he perhaps forgot so when the following Sunday Tom Leake sought me out, already knowing my intentions to leave. We chatted politely, perhaps kindly, he even hugged me and recommended a church nearer to us. Tom asked if I would be willing to talk about my concerns, and I said yes, and he said they would schedule something. And that was it. I handed my letter, and that was that.

(Later, after the below letter, and even after a much longer explanation was sent to Tom and Alan, I found out that to at least one respected brother who asked about where we had gone, Tom told him to his face that the Parkinsons didn't leave because of troubles at HBC, just a commute issue, and that we had even hugged when we left. I can't say whether he ever read any of my longer explanation, but hopefully from the letter below it should have been clear that we were not comfortable with where Hope was going. But perhaps I was too vague. If, as I suspect, Tom spoke about us after receiving the longer explanation then... well, I'm glad we're gone.

This was the end of a depressing affair. We were going to feel happy and liberated for a while. Then the loneliness and depression would come. But just to walk out of church free of the dark clouds that had consumed us since February and ruined all good opinion of this church, separated us from what seemed a family in Christ, and given us all manner of skepticism. We were happy the day I gave this and left.

HBC Troubles: Our first day out

Rebecca did not want to come. The girls stayed home too. I went alone, with my letter in hand. I sat through the sermon and when it was over, I got up to find Pastor Leake.

A dear sweet older sister in the faith, Scottish, blunt, came over and asked if we were discourage. I miss the bluntness. I told her yes. Not much. I did mention the building campaign. "Oh sweetie, you should have seen what our last church was like!"

HBC Troubles: Scott's Excommunication

And there it is, not wholly unexpected. They knew Scott was talking to some (an earlier email indicated that he had a very strong conscience about not reaching out to others, but responding to as many as contacted him). Commendable. The apparently divisive figure was most wary about dividing people within the church. That was not lost on us.

HBC Troubles: The Appendix that Took Us Out (Part 2)

In our minds, this was the last, best hope for Tom Leake to bring out the truth and convince us that he was in the right and Scott was categorically wrong. It may not be self-evident that Scott isn't wrong, that Tom and the remaining elders of HBC aren't victims, without more context, but just the wording and style of this writing alone should send up multiple warning signals that something isn't right.

We were really hoping for some great bombshell that would explain the sense of vindictiveness, the need for propaganda-like reassurances, the sense of damage control we got through this process. If there really was something big about Scott they were hiding for his sake, that there really was a Christian need to not address this the way normal people would expect.

HBC Troubles: The Appendix that Took Us Out (Part 1)

At last, the Elders Respond in Force! Our initial thoughts reading this email, which opened to a further Appendix detailing and addressing concerns in a point-by-point email, was that it was far better considered in writing than previous letters. If Scott Barao had truly wrong the elders, we would expect language along these lines and we were willing to extend some benefit of the doubt that we still missed critical details which would restore our confidence in Tom and Alan. Admittedly, we wanted to believe that we hadn't seen a complete 180 turn in character among people we trusted. And, although Scott presented himself consistently and credibly, we did not know him well enough to trust him.

The main body of the email itself did not give us much cause for concern and we really hoped what they would add would give us peace.

HBC Troubles: Reaching out to Rod

After the "Propaganda Letter" I was sufficiently suspicious. I reached out to Scott. Scott sent me a copy of the new letter he send to some people in his old group, addressing allegations made in the Tuesday night meeting. In that he hinted at his departure being connected to Rod's own.

Rebecca and I, disturbed by the building campaign, latched onto a number of phrases in Rod's last general letter, wondering if they indicated Rod had misgivings about how the elders had conducted it and in general about their path. Really, we wanted to believe that someone, someone, in the leadership had not been comfortable, because at least that indicated a conscience we might understand. Maybe this was connected to that? And was Scott's connected to Rod's?

HBC Troubles: Scott's "Note to My Flock"

By now the following is old news and it was sent a number of people in the community group Scott led, at least those who inquired of him following that Tuesday night meeting held in his absence. This was Scott attempting to present his side.

We withheld judgment, but he was a lot more straight with his words than what we got from the elders. He raised some good questions, some of which we hadn't considered. Still, I would have preferred things be presented more directly.It has a feeling of sowing doubts with the hope of provider answers to pry people away. I'm sensitive to that.

This statement sent off a lot of alarm bells:

Even if you knew all the truth and all the facts and saw all the emails, there is nothing you could do about it. You can probably not affect change. Two elders tried and where are they now?

Later I understood he wasn't referring to just the emails specific to this event. He had an archive of his history as an elder, and a fair amount of communication to back up a number of his claims as to how the elder board functions. Including what really happened to the first elder. It would be a month before I saw those, though.

Scott also names names, and gives a timeline of events. Right or wrong, this is how the elders should have addressed it. That they didn't was a big red flag. I couldn't help wonder if this was them hiding, while Scott, the apparent defector, wasn't.